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I am a fast-talking, straightforward girl. Always have been, and never cared enough about validation to change that. In fact, if you google ‘being straightforward’ you might turn up a string of results that speak of its advantages. Lately, I learnt that being straightforward hasn’t worked to my advantage. It seems, in Asia, women don’t like other women who don’t mince their words. And all this time, I thought we don’t have the time (or tolerance) for bullsh*t.
In fact, I read this article (13 Struggles You Endure When You’re An Extremely Straightforward Girl) and wept. The truth hit me like a speeding freight train because every point the writer made resonated with me. I generally feel that way all the time and I find it hard to comprehend why people find it necessary to play games, strategise moves and sugarcoat the truth.
Today, I walked away from a conversation with a co-worker more enlightened on this topic.
Here’s the kicker: women want their men to be upfront, honest and straightforward. But nice. They, however, do not want other women to be honest with them. It is generally known that women need to sugarcoat sh*t and filter everything when speaking with other women or risk being labelled a b*tch.
In fact, if one female speaks honestly to another female, that female is said to be “lashing out” or being “overly critical”.
*cue eureka moment sound effect*
I’ve always prided myself as being sincere. I honestly just want the best for my friends and family. No point walking on eggshells around people you love, phrasing and re-phrasing conversations in your head while watching them make repeated mistakes. To me, it’s quite simple: save yourself the time (and trouble) and speak sincerely in a tactful manner. Naturally, everything is said with good intentions in a constructive manner and not to hurt one’s feelings. And I know if I can dish it out, I take it back. In fact, I treat everyone with the same due respect I want to be treated with.
So after this conversation, I got curious about this double standard women have towards fellow women. It seems, honesty isn’t the best policy and flattery will get you everywhere, when it comes to women dealing with other women. What do you think?
I leave you with some food for thought: